Zen Blog

Great leaders are inspiring and motivating. They are strategic thinkers who can see the big picture in business and in life. And yet to sustain this task in our modern age, great leaders must also be present, resilient, and healthy in body and mind.

Thanks to changes in technology, the world of work now moves at an accelerated pace. We now have the ability to communicate with people across the world in seconds and to work anytime, anywhere. 

As a result, the line separating work and the rest of life has become increasingly blurred. We now live in a 24/7, “always on,” workplace culture. On top of all of that, most industries and businesses find themselves in a state of near constant change with increasing competitive pressures. 

The unique pressures of the modern age pose a real threat to leadership and indeed our very wellbeing. Today’s leaders require more than management skills, financial acumen, and the ability to inspire.

No wonder so many people complain of feeling stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed, struggling to maintain peak performance.

We all crave love, intimacy, and genuine connection, but our unconscious habits and reactions can get in the way of our most important relationship skill: mindful communication. When we  practice being fully present for the beautiful, dynamic, and messy realm of human relationships, we bring our mindfulness practice truly “off the cushion.” 

While every relationship we have begins with our relationship with ourselves, relational mindfulness gives us the tools we need to connect more deeply with others. Indeed it is the arena of meeting the day-to-day family, work, and societal struggles that we can profoundly deepen our mindfulness practice. 

What Does Relational Mindfulness Look Like?

Imagine yourself in one of these situations:

You are in conversation with your spouse or partner and you feel yourself becoming triggered. As much as you want to stay present, you begin to shut down and become reactive.

You are at a social gathering and don’t know many people, so you begin to feel awkward and disconnected. You try to make small talk but end up retreating into your phone.  

The adolescent period is absolutely amazing. People often give it a negative approach, saying it’s a time when adolescents are going to lose their mind, or it’s just immature, or raging hormones drive you crazy. These are not only wrong, but they’re myths that mislead us and actually disempower us. Whether we’re adults or adolescents, they actually give us the wrong message and they make it so there’s nothing we can do

So what is actually the truth? The truth is that instead of raging hormones what’s happening is we have remodelling in the brain in ways we never could have predicted. We now understand two big things are happening in the brain. Things you as an adult can support adolescents in developing well, and if you’re an adolescent, you actually can use this to help your brain grow in an optimal way.

Two Big Changes in the Adolescent Brain

What are those two things? Imagine that in childhood you’re growing like a tree, and establishing all these branches and all these leaves are growing. That means connections among the basic cell, the neuron, called synapses are being established, and you’re soaking in the knowledge of the world and that’s beautiful. The tree is just growing, growing, growing

But then what happens and surprised everyone is the brain begins to prune itself. You start carving away some of those leaves and the smallest branches, even some of the larger branches. And the reason for the pruning is to specialized the brain.

An adolescent is going to begin to find their passion, to actually find things they like, things they really love doing, and to drive their development in that way.